Friday, February 10, 2012

I'm Hearing Voices--Emotion!

Today is the last day of the I'm Hearing Voices Character Blogfest hosted by Cassie Mae and Angela Cothran.  It has been lots of fun reading what everyone else has written.  It's also been quite challenging to create pieces I'm satisfied with.  Today's challenge was to write an emotion in 250 words or less.

I hope I was successful.  Here is mine (at the end I'll let you know what emotion I was going for):

"Would you stop that!  You're making too much noise!"  Elodym says in a loud whisper.  "They're bound to hear us."  Ryn continues tinkering with something.  "Hey, I'm talking to you!" She nudges him in the shoulder with her fist.

He looks up as if waking from a dream.  "What was that for?" He asks rubbing his shoulder.

"You're being too loud!"

"You're the one talking!"  He fires back.

"I don't understand why we're waiting here in the middle of the forest.  We should be out there helping.  Instead I'm stuck here with you.  It's so stupid.  We're wasting our time!"  She throws her arms up in the air and paces like a caged lion.

"Hey it's not like this is my favorite assignment either sweetheart.  But we follow orders and both Shen and Nakyte want us here."

 "What are you doing with this thing anyway? It looks like a piece of junk." Elodym grabs the contraption he is working on and it breaks into a hundred tiny pieces.  Her mouth drops open.

"OHH come on!  What did you do?  You ruined it!"  Ryn says.  He fights to keep his voice low.

"I didn't do anything!  And SHHHHH!"  She bends down to pick up the pieces but he bats her hand away.

"Stop that!  Don't touch anything.  Go over there and be the lookout.  We're supposed to be watching to see if there is movement in the camp."

"Well if anyone is around, they surely have heard all of your racket!"

I hope you were able to guess the emotion was annoyance or frustration.  If not let me know what you did think.  I'm looking forward to read what you guys all came up with for this one.

If you really enjoy writing flash fiction pieces like these click here to sign up for a monthly flash fiction blog hop.

Don't forget Monday is the Origins Blogfest you can find out all the details here.
And if you haven't already, sign up for Rachael Harries 4th Campaign here.

Have a great weekend!



  1. I definitely got frustration. Very well done!

  2. Irritation more than frustration. Maybe a bit of love or admiration on the part of Elodym?
    Nice, Geoff.

  3. It read of frustration, absolutely. Great emotion.

  4. i guessed it only 1/2 thru. great job!

  5. Sounds like a typical and routine lovers spat. I caught the annoyance early on. Nicely done!

  6. Great job! I was telling them to Shut Up on my end as well.

  7. I liked the bantering back and forth between the characters. Lots of tension in this piece, which gave it a good pace. Interesting use of tense. Sounds like they were being distracted from the task in hand by Ryn's broken contraption, which added to the chaos of the moment.

  8. Hmm... one of the first I've read today that depicted this emotion. Well done.

  9. I definitely got the the frustration and anger. Good job.

  10. I could feel the frustration. Great job!

  11. Frustration! *quickly checks to see if I'm right*


    Great job here. I read everything out loud and I totally spit fired these lines because they came out so naturally. :)

  12. Well done! Your use of body language is just as effective as the dialogue! Together, it really works!
    New follower from the Campaign.

  13. You nailed it! Frustration was what I felt reading this :) I love the banter with these characters. Well done!

  14. Got the frustration, and some curiosity about what they're doing in the woods. Nice teaser.

  15. I definitely got frustration! Good job!

  16. Frustration definitely came through. Good job.

  17. Great writing. Like the others, I definitely felt the frustration!!

  18. Well done! Your characters were very vivid, even without physical description. So sorry I missed this blogfest- it sounded like lots of fun! Looking forward to your post for the origins blogfest!

  19. Great job! Stopping by from the Campaign to say hello. Nice to meet you.