My Self-Care Garden

Hardy Hibiscus

"Self-Care" seems to be a relatively new concept. When I was a young adult, there was no talk of "self-care," at least not that I remember. 

The stress of today's world, though seems to have brought the idea of carving out time to care for yourself to the forefront of many people's minds. We need time to retreat from the crazy, over-stimulated world and simply breathe. To reset. 

Self-care can be anything where you are creating space for you. It could be extravagant like a spa day or it could be simple and cheap like making sure you work-out, meditate, or just curl up with a good book.  

For me, going outside and working in my garden is part of my self-care ritual. I love nothing more than to get my hands in the dirt and remove weeds from the soil. To commune with my flowers, trees, and shrubs. To breathe in the oxygen that they release and to give them my breath in exchange. To be surprised when a big fat nightcrawler wiggles up to the surface. And to be momentarily terrified when a wolf spider the size of my thumb appears in front of me. (When that happens, I usually surrender that part of my garden to the spider and work in a different spot.)

Double Begonia

It is hard, sweaty, filthy, work and yet as I'm crouching in the dirt, taking care of all my flowers, I feel them taking care of me. I give my time and sore muscles, but I receive so much more. Not only do I receive a sense of peace and oneness with a greater world outside myself, but they give me their beauty all summer long. I'm grateful for the time I'm able to spend in my garden and I'm grateful every day I gaze out my window and see my flowers smiling back at me. 

Today, on this cloudy day in Cleveland, I thought I would share their beauty with you.

Let me know which one you like the best!!

I'd love to hear what you do to make space for yourself and what you're grateful for today!!

Mandevilla

Thanks for stopping by!

Kathy

Clematis

Siberian Iris

Platycodon-Balloon Flower

Tiger Lily

Bleeding Heart

Rose of Sharon

I'm Sick of My Phone

 

The other day, I got an alert on my phone: 

You spent an average of 4 hours and 30 minutes daily on your phone last week. Congratulations, that's down from last week's average.

Instantly, I wanted to throw my phone.  That number couldn't be correct. I'm not on it that much. I clicked to see the breakdown. 

There it was, right in front of me, my daily breakdown of cellphone usage.  Sunday, I spent 3 hours reading news. Monday, it was productivity and finance. In my head, I tried to rationalize that one-I was accomplishing things. One day, I spent 2.5 hours on the Social category. Every day there was something that drew me in for hours to that little screen attached to my body.

I'm 52 years old, I've lived 2,704 weeks. According to the book 4,000 Weeks by Robert Boseman, which says the average person lives only about 4,000 weeks, about 77 years, I only have 1,296 left. Of course, I had to use my phone's calculator to figure that out. 

Do I really want to spend my remaining weeks on my phone for 4 hours a day? That seems like such a waste. Especially, when I think about my first 35 years when I had no portable phone at all. I was still able to work, keep up with my friends and family, and know what was going on in the world. 

Sure my iPhone 11 makes a lot of things easier. Texting multiple friends, family members, and clients in a day is super quick and easy. Now I can carry 5,000 photos, 2,000 videos, and countless books literally in my pocket. I can keep up with Breaking News as it is happening no matter where I am. Most importantly for me, a navigationally impaired person, I have a map with me at all times. 

But does that make it better? Am I really more productive now that I can eliminate every moment of boredom? Am I living a happier more meaningful life?

Gratitude and Intention #IWSG

 

Happy New Year!!! 

2023 is here and I have a great feeling that this year is going to be a good one! And what a great way to start it by having another post of the IWSG!!

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time - and return comments. This group is all about connecting!--from IWSG website

Find us on Twitter at @TheIWSG #IWSG

This month's cohosts are:  Jemima Pett, Debs Carey, Kim Lajevardi, Sarah Foster, Natalie Aguirre, and T. Powell Coltrin!

January 4 question - Do you have a word of the year? Is there one word that sums up what you need to work on or change in the coming year? For instance, in 2021 my word of the year was Finish. I was determined to finished my first draft by the end of the year. In 2022, my word of the year is Ease. I want to get my process, systems, finances, and routines where life flows with ease and less chaos. What is yourword for 2023? Why? 

I have two words for this year: Gratitude and Intention.

It's easy to be bogged down by stress, worry and negativity but when I take the time to actively think of what I'm grateful for each day everything else seems to be less important. So this year I really want to start each day by focusing on what I'm grateful for.

One of the many things I'm grateful for is the IWSG, all of you who participate in this amazing community of writers, and of course Alex J. Cavanaugh who began the whole thing. I joined when it began maybe ten years ago (not sure the date it started). I took some years off but when I was ready to come back the IWSG welcomed me as if I had ever left and was even stronger! Thank you!

Intention

How many times have I caught myself scrolling through some type of social media app or even just getting lost in news articles that are for the most part meaningless? I'm really good at simply letting time slip through my fingers with not much to show for it. Not that I need to be accomplishing something every second but I want to spend the precious little time I have in this year of 2023 with intention. I want to decide how I spend my moments and not let them mindlessly pass without notice. To be present and to be grateful for each moment.

Do you have a word for this year? What are you excited about for 2023?

In other news, I woke up on January 1st to see that my e-book had made it to the #1 Best Seller list in its category on Amazon! What a wonderful surprise and a great way to start 2023 with a bang!

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season and have a very Happy 2023!!

Love,

Kathy :)

 

IWSG and New Projects

 

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time - and return comments. This group is all about connecting!--from IWSG website

Find us on Twitter at @TheIWSG #IWSG

This month's cohosts are: 

Joylene Nowell Butler, Chemist Ken, Natalie Aguirre, Nancy Gideon, and Cathrina Constantine!

The question of the month is: It's holiday time! Are the holidays a time to catch up or fall behind on writer goals?

Well since I'm even posting this a day late, you can probably surmise that my holiday time is usually when I fall most behind in writing goals! But I've learned to tell myself that it's okay. As long as I have writing goals and I continue to work on them even haphazardly then I'm doing fine.

Last month I mentioned that I'm working on revising a novel, which I am still doing but I've added another project to my  goals list. 

I've decided to write a cookbook. My kids are about to all be out on their own. One is getting married next year and the others will probably be soon to follow. I'm actually writing the cookbook as a way to teach them how to make their favorite homemade recipes and if other people can learn and enjoy it that's even better! 

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday season!!

With love, 

Kathy

 

November IWSG and NaNoWriMo

 

It's the first Wednesday in November so it's time for another IWSG post!

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time - and return comments. This group is all about connecting!--from IWSG website

Find us on Twitter at @TheIWSG #IWSG

This month's co-hosts are: Diedre Knight, Douglas Thomas Greening, Nick Wilford, and Diane Burton!

The optional question of the month is: November is National Novel Writing Month. Have you ever participated? If not, why not?

I did participate several years ago in NaNoWriMo. The daily word count target motivated me to make sure that I sat down and wrote a little bit every day and usually I ended up writing more than the goal! But by the time it got to be the week before Thanksgiving and I was about to have sixteen people at my house I began to panic about the clutter covering my counters and the fact that I hadn't figured out what I would be serving besides turkey and mashed potatoes. For a couple days I dove into cleaning and meal planning and cooking anything I could in advance. I would have to write just before bed. Unfortunately, by that time I was too tired and fell asleep after typing only a few hundred words. 

When relatives started showing up on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, I decided to stop trying. Not because I had given up but because I wanted to enjoy everyone's company and not feel guilty for either not writing or for running off to a quiet corner to get a few words in. 

Even though I didn't officially complete NaNo, I still felt it was a success and a great experience! I had spent several days in a row getting into the habit of writing and I had a great start to a novel! All in all I would recommend trying it if you've never done it before.

This year, I'm going about it a little bit differently. I'm still having a bunch of people over for Thanksgiving but I already have a completed novel that I need to edit. I've decided I will try to edit 3,300 words per day and maybe do a few more at the beginning of the month.

Good luck to all of you who participate this year!

And have a wonderful Thanksgiving!! 

Kathy 

Horror Isn't For Me! September IWSG!

It is already September and I have no idea where this summer has gone! Between working, summer traveling, and our youngest graduating from high school this summer has been one of our craziest and I've really missed writing and blogging. But there's no better way to get back in the swing of things than with an IWSG post!

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time - and return comments. This group is all about connecting!--from IWSG website

Find us on Twitter at @TheIWSG #IWSG

Our awesome cohosts for this month are: Kim Lajevardi, Cathrina Constantine, Natalie Aguirre, Olga Godim, Michelle Wallace, and Louise - Fundy Blue!  

The optional question for this month is:  

What genre would be the worst for you to tackle and why?

I'm willing to try most genres but for me, horror would be the worst genre for me to write. I have never been interested in watching or reading anything in that genre. I think my kids watched all of The Shining before I did. Even after finally watching it, I didn't enjoy it, and then those two little girls from the bloody elevator kept haunting me in my dreams.

Every time I have given in to my husband and kids who seemingly love to spend their nights watching a character be possessed or go coo-coo and grab the nearest weapon to torture everyone around them, I wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat dreaming that I'm running for my life.

So I've decided that paranormal, psychological, and chainsaw massacre horror stories simply aren't my thing and my family can watch them without me. 

If I tried to write one, it would be really lame. Maybe I could write a spoof of a horror movie and make everyone laugh instead of scream.

What would be your worst genre?

Hope you've all had a wonderful summer!

Love, 

Kathy :)

June's #IWSG Curiosity Gets Me to the End

 Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time - and return comments. This group is all about connecting!--from IWSG website

Find us on Twitter at @TheIWSG #IWSG

The awesome co-hosts for this month are:

SE White, Cathrina Constantine,Natalie Aguire, Joylene Nowell Butler, and Jacqui Murray!  

This month's optional question is: When the going gets tough writing the story, how do you keep yourself writing to the end? If have not started the writing yet, why do you think that is and what do you think could help you find your groove and start?

Curiosity is what keeps me writing to the end. I usually only have a basic idea of where the story will go when I begin. It is fascinating how characters take on a life of their own seemingly independent of me. My brain has birthed them from somewhere but then like real children, they sometimes make choices that I never would have expected. I want to see where their journey takes them. 

For my non-fiction book, One Year on Broadway, I persevered because I believed the world needed more stories of love and forgiveness, of coming together to be a part of something bigger than ourselves.

Can't wait to read what your strategies are to get through to the end! 

I hope you all have a wonderful June!!

Love,

Kathy