Tuesday, January 17, 2012

It's Ok to Lose

11 skaters,  2 coaches and 2 minutes of music.
The first beats pulsed through the huge arena.  We held our breath and watched every movement our skaters made. There was no way to help them now, like baby birds learning to fly, they had to skate this without our help.  All their hard work for 5 months was coming down to these 2 minutes.  I could only hope we had prepared them well enough.  Their first few steps were a little shaky with nerves, but they quickly found their footing on the slippery surface.  They thought on their feet and added an extra element when they realized they had skated faster than usual.  They took their final pose and it was over.  We could breath again.

The team I co-coach.  11 great girls!
My friend, (the other coach), and I were so proud of them.  They made only one stumble but recovered quickly.  They had finally come together as a team.  We couldn't have asked for more.

I could see the other teams were much more experienced than we were, so I wasn't surprised when we got the scores back. We had taken 12th out of 12.  But how were we supposed to break it to the girls?  They had given their all.  Would there be tears?  or would they be proud of their effort being a brand new team at a big competition?  We got them all together and my friend asked, "Did you have fun this weekend?  Are you happy with how you skated?"
They all shouted "YES!"
"Can you see the things we need to work on?" We asked.  They knew where it was leading, but they understood that if they wanted to be good enough to win they'd have to put in a lot more time and effort.
If we hadn't come to this competition, they never would have realized how much better they could be.  Even though it's tough to take last, the overall experience of the weekend, staying as a team in the hotel and bonding was far more positive than negative.  Now they are excited to get back on the ice and see how they can improve.  Sometimes it takes losing big to light the fires of ambition.        

Jess and Alyssa's team with their coach




Have big losses or rejections given you the determination to work even harder?


Kathy

8 comments:

  1. I've been on both ends of the spectrum.

    I skated on a hockey team that only scored two goals one season--and one of those goals was scored because the other goalkeeper was laughing too hard to keep playing! That team was such a hoot, and I will simply never forget playing for them.

    I've also skated on a hockey team that won every. single. game. It wasn't that we didn't have fun as a team, but we took everything so seriously that it was just hard work. And what was all that hard work for? A trophy I got to touch for ten seconds. My game didn't improve that season.

    Rejections and disappointments are like a shot of jet fuel to get me going. I hope your team can come back working hard and still having fun.

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    1. I always wanted to play hockey too! There has to be a balance between fun and seriousness. I've tried to instill in my students that they strive for perfection, but they have to have fun along the way because it's the whole journey that matters. :)

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  2. The girls are learning lessons that are far more important than winning or losing. They are learning, from both of their coaches, the most important lesson that they can keep for the rest of their lives: the attitude. That's HUGE. You are not just a skating coach; you are a life coach for them as well. Great job, coach!

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    1. Thanks! I hope I can be a long term positive influence on their lives.

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  3. Losing is an important lesson. I used to be very involved in athletics, at a very competitive level. In the very small pond I was in initially, I usually won. It was very hard when I moved to a national level and I didn't win any longer! It did teach me to focus on ME and to do MY best. It's a lesson I'm still learning in the publishing world.

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    1. It's not fun to lose, but it seems like the people who have lost the most are the most successful, because they keep getting back up and trying again.

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  4. I enjoyed this post. I had a similar post on my blog about my son's championship football game that they lost by a touchdown and how it was more of a success than a failure because they played hard and beat a lot of teams to get there and made a lot of progress along the way.

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    1. As long as they learn from the loss, I think it is a win.

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