Book Review: Habits of a Peace Maker

 

I'm a middle child, the only girl surrounded by two brothers whom I love dearly. They are thirteen years apart which caused several misunderstandings and silly sibling squabbles between them. Even as a young kid, I felt it was my duty to smooth things over and keep the peace. It made me sad to see them not get along. 

Luckily for me, they get along much better as adults, but it seems the world around us has become much more adversarial. One group hating on another, whether it's political, religious, racial, or nationality based.

Just like with my brothers, these conflicts and quarrels make me sad. 

When my daughter recently recommended, Habits of a Peace Maker, by Steven T. Collis, I felt compelled to read it right away.  

Mr. Collis's focus is on teaching people to listen to one another with respect and humility. The point isn't that we should all agree, it's more about getting closer to understanding one another. It's a quick read and the strategies are relatively simple and common sense, but I think we need this reminder. I know I have lost sight of it at times.

I read one negative review of the book commenting on how the author doesn't talk enough about global peace initiatives. Personally, I felt the book was written more to give us non-diplomat people some new habits and strategies to be able to better get along with our old Uncle Jerry at Thanksgiving, or our neighbor, or our older parents who we have tendencies to bicker with about politics, etc, maybe we even let some nasty words slip from our mouths. 

I'm guilty of it, and I always regret it afterwards. I deeply love these people, why can't I let these arguments go and simply show them my love for them?

Mr. Collis reminds us that heated arguments don't change people's minds, they usually just make them defend their positions more fervently and nothing is accomplished except creating more anonymity between the people. That doesn't mean don't talk about important subjects. He also demonstrates how to bring up more sensitive topics in ways that help bring us together to work toward solutions instead of tearing people further apart.

One of my favorite quotes in the book is, "For so many of the problems in this world, many of us are not in a position to make any true impact. But making someone else's day just a bit brighter is something we can do everywhere we go." 

This may be the only real way to change the world around us. 

I rate Habits of a Peace Maker 4 out of 5 stars. 

 

Have a wonderful day! 💕💕

Kathy

AI Writing, Art, and IWSG

 

Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!

Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time - and return comments. This group is all about connecting!

Our Twitter handle is @TheIWSG and hashtag is #IWSG.

The awesome co-hosts for the September 3 posting of the IWSG are Kim Lajevardi, Natalie Aguirre, Nancy Gideon, and Diedre Knight!

Every month, we announce a question that members can answer in their IWSG post. These questions may prompt you to share advice, insight, a personal experience or story. Include your answer to the question in your IWSG post or let it inspire your post if you are struggling with something to say. 

September 3 question - What are your thoughts on using AI, such as GPChat, Raptor, and others with your writing? Would you use it for research, storybible, or creating outlines\beats?

Perfect question for me this month!  Call me old fashioned or maybe just plain old, but I'm a sceptic of AI. I have never intentionally used it, until this last week. 

I grew up watching all the Terminator movies with my dad and brothers and there is just something uncomfortable about the idea of AI in general and especially projects like Meta's Super Intelligence Lab, which Mark Zuckerberg says will surpass human intelligence in all aspects. I'm not really certain that is what we want. Is it?

That old quote from Jurassic Park, sums up how I feel about AI,"Your scientists were so pre-occupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should." 

But this week my daughter who is also a writer and blogger told me, "Hey mom, you should really give your blog a new look, you haven't updated it since 2015."

I knew she was right. I had been wanting to give it a makeover for a while, but I didn't know how. Then she suggested I use ChatGPT to help. Of course, I needed help from her to even use it. But within twenty minutes, my blog had a whole new, more professional look. 

I had to admit I was impressed. 

I'm still not inclined to use AI to actually write for me, I enjoy the process of writing too much. It is a type of meditation for me. Pouring my thoughts onto a page, refills my cup and heals my soul. That is why I write. Having a computer write for me seems empty. 

Art is special, I think, because it comes from the heart and soul, from a human who has experienced ups and downs, tragedies and love, and everything in between. The artist then  transcends time and space and allows us to feel too.

I especially love seeing live performances of music, concerts, orchestras, musicals, plays etc. Not only do you get to be immersed in the work of the creator of the piece you get to experience the way each actor or singer interprets the story as well and share that experience with everyone else in the theater. I don't think AI could give us an experience like that. 

But now I see maybe there are instances where it can be helpful and not take away from the art itself. I did use AI to make fake picture of me. 

Only sorta looks like me

 I don't think I would want to use it for research...maybe to just do a preliminary search of a subject. But I  enjoy stumbling upon research in a sometimes haphazard way, discovering something accidentally. I might be more open to trying AI for preliminary research and possibly some other small tasks, that I don't know how to do--though I'll probably have to wait for my daughter to be around to help me use it.😂😂

There is a wonderful opinion piece published in the New York Times a few weeks ago, written by a creative writing professor about the use of AI in writing check, it out if you have time. 

What are your thoughts on AI? Should we all start doing our chin-ups Sarah Conner style so we can fight off the Terminator? Or am I way over thinking the power of AI?

Have a great week!!! 

Kathy :)

End the Summer in New York City- A Travel Journal Part 1

 

I think any weekend is a great weekend to be in New York City, but we had exceptional weather this Labor Day. A perfect end to the summer.

We arrived Friday around noon and were lucky to be able to check in to our hotel at Hyatt Place Chelsea. We’d never stayed at this hotel before, but we love the Chelsea area and thought we would check it out.

On the 21st floor, our room had a gorgeous view of the city. The room was small and simple but everything we needed for a weekend trip. The only negative I would say is that the elevator situation was pretty bad. There were 4 elevators but the timing of them was terrible and at least twice we decided to walk down the 21 floors because we were tired of waiting. 

We dropped our stuff in our room and headed out to Chinatown. We got a cheap lunch of crispy duck and pork with rice that fed us both for under $10. Chinatown is a great place for delicious cheap eats, but many of the restaurants are cash only.

My husband also wanted to get a haircut at this little barber shop in Chinatown. He loves the way this barber cuts his hair even though there are only a few words that they are able to use to communicate. The barber speaks primarily Chinese and my husband does not. That doesn’t seem to matter, my husband is happy with his cut every time.

Saturday Church at NYTW

Then we headed down to this cute little wine bar called, Parcelle, to meet one of my husband’s colleagues from a previous job. We sat and drank wine at a little table outside and enjoyed catching up with her for a bit. It was a perfect evening to enjoy chatting and people watching as the sun set.

We ended the night going to see Saturday Church a new musical starring Bryson Battle from the Voice, at the New York Theater Workshop. It tells the story of Ulysses, a young LGBTQ+ youth struggling with his identity, caught between the worlds of his family's church and an LGBTQ+ sanctuary that finally allows him to be himself. It's an excellent show, with great singing, dancing, and music written by Sia.

We had planned this trip in part to celebrate my sister-in-law's birthday and decided to make it a mini-family get together in the city. Both my brothers and their families flew in and we met up with them Saturday morning. The early risers of our group headed out to New York City Bagel and Coffee House to get a quick breakfast before we met everyone else for brunch. I get super hungry in the morning and get a little hangry if I have to wait until everyone else gets up.😂

The birthday girl and the rest of the family joined us for brunch at Maman, where we celebrated with mimosas, great food, and lots of laughs. 

Maman's eggs and farro salad

Next we were off to see a matinee of Heathers The Musical a dark musical comedy based on the 1980's cult classic movie, with Christian Slater and Winona Ryder. 

The theater buzzed with energy from the crowd even before the musical began. The audience screamed and cheered throughout especially when the three Heathers arrived on stage for their popping rendition of Candy Store. Everyone jumped to their feet for a standing ovation at the end. 

If you're in New York, go see this, it's BIG FUN!!!!

How did you celebrate Labor Day? When was the last time you went to NYC?  

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. Stay tuned for Part 2 of NYC Labor Day Trip, where our journey takes a dark turn as well. 

Heathers is Big Fun!

Also don't forget to stop by tomorrow for my IWSG post! 

Love, 

Kathy 💕💕

Magic at the Library

 My daughter works at our local library which is on my way home from work. Yesterday, I decided to stop in and say a quick "hi" to her and see how her day was going. She works at the circulation desk and no one was in line, so I just hung out there and we gossiped a little about what was going on in her day. 

A customer walked up to check out books with her two little kids in tow. I moved aside so my daughter could do her job and I headed to my favorite sections. 

This is where the trouble began. If I had just finished our conversation and said, "Okay sweetie, I have to go now," everything would have been fine. But nooooo, something was calling me from the inner most shelves like a tractor beam tugging at the Millennium Falcon. 

I didn't need to pick up any books. I already have plenty on my night stand. Most likely though, I would look around for a little and not find anything, tell my daughter "goodbye," and head home.

Of course that's not what happened. 

Libraries have this magical, serendipitous power. Fate can place a book that you never knew you needed to read on the top shelf of the stack you pass, someone can cough loudly next to you and you look over and see this book cover right in your line of sight. Some unknown force makes you reach out to grab the book and you flip to the summary on the back cover.

It's got you.

You can't put it down now. You know you have to take it home and read it.

Yesterday, seven books caught me in their spell. Could I have written their titles down and gotten them a different time when I needed another book? 

Sure!

But I was drawn to them in this moment and I let the serendipity lead me right to the circulation desk where my daughter checked out all the books for me. 

I know I probably won't finish all of them, but I figured it also helps the library to check out lots of books. In a time when funding for our libraries, especially in Ohio is scarce, it helps to show that they are being used often! 

So go to your local library to support them and let serendipity take over!

Have a beautiful day!

With Love, 

Kathy💕💕😀

 

Traveling Tuesdays: Ancient Temples of Angkor Wat--Otherworldly

One of many ornate towers of Angkor Wat

Ever since I heard there were ancient temples discovered in the northwestern jungles of Cambodia, I dreamed of one day visiting Angkor Wat. I thought of myself as an Indiana Jones type explorer trudging through the jungle...well minus all the bugs, spiders, and snakes. 

Actually, I'm not even all that adventurous. I'm terrified of being in the ocean or any big water. I'm scared of bears and other large creatures with big teeth, and I'd much prefer staying at a nice hotel than roughing it in the wild. But I LOVE to travel and see new places, it inspires me and fuels my imagination.

Luckily for me, my husband is adventurous and last April we ended up in Siem Reap, Cambodia as part of an extended trip around Asia. We only had two days in Cambodia so on the day we were visiting the temples, our Tuk Tuk driver, Tiger, picked us up in the morning from our hotel in Siem Reap. We drove about a half hour to the temple grounds which cover over 400 acres of land. Angkor Wat and its surrounding temples are deemed the largest religious site in the world. 

Devatas 

The temples were built over a 30 year period from about 1110-1150 AD. They were built by the Khmer people during the reign of King Suryavarman II and dedicated to the God Vishnu. Throughout the temples, the walls are covered in bas relief carvings of Hindu Gods, Apsaras, Devatas, and scenes depicting the ancient Hindu texts the Mahabharata and the Ramayana. 

Several years after the death of Suravarman, Jayavarman VII, ruled the Khmer empire and converted to Buddhism rededicating Angkor Wat to Buddha.

 It is now a fascinating mix of both religions, with statues of Buddha, Vishnu, and the Hindu inspired bas relief carvings.

I found out recently that Angkor Wat was never "lost" at least to the local monks, the Western world simply "rediscovered" it in 1860. That fact, though, doesn't take away from the temple's otherworldly mystery. 

The temple grounds are a hugely popular tourist destination and the day we were there was no exception. It happened to be part of the Cambodian Songkran Festival (New Year's) so many locals were visiting the temple as well as foreign tourists. 

In 2018, there were over 2 million people that came to visit. Many Buddhists and Hindus alike come on religious pilgrimages. They kneel before Buddha in silent meditation, leave offerings, light incense, and pay homage to the wall-length battle scene in the Ramayan where Rama defeats Ravana. 

Aside from the splendor of the architecture, one of my favorite moments visiting, was when a family with three teen girls dressed in the beautiful, traditional Khmer silk sampot, were trying to get selfies in front of the most photo worthy spots. They laughed and joked with each other as they posed for pictures-exactly like our kids at that age when we took them to New York City or Yellowstone National Park. 

Bas relief wall carvings 

Some times you dream of visiting a place for a long time and then when you finally get there, it doesn't live up to what you expected. 

Buddha with flower offerings

That was not the case here. It was breathtaking. At one point there was a steep staircase(almost scary steep!) that climbed nearly to the top of the temple where you can look out over the vast surrounding jungle. 

How many people throughout its 900 years have looked out over this same scene. It's eerie and beautiful at the same time, like somehow your connected to those souls that have set foot in the same place, you have shared that same space, not in the same time but nonetheless you can almost feel their presence, as if some of their energy stayed behind. 

Every so often we would come across a bullet hole in the stone walls. A relic from the more recent past, when the ruthless Khmer Rouge took over Cambodia.

It was pretty crowded when we were there around mid morning. Most of the travel sites suggest getting there early to see the sunrise over the temple and beat the crowds. I'm not sure if it would be less crowded since everyone advises it, but it would definitely be cooler at that time. 

It was an oppressively hot and humid day and my choice of clothing to modestly cover my shoulders and knees(required to visit) wasn't quite breathable enough, so I wasn't too disappointed that we only took a half day to see as much as we could. It was not nearly enough time to even see half of the complex.

The grounds were a huge maze of temples and forest intertwined. A few times, we met up with our driver, Tiger, who took us across bridges and through gates that led to other temple buildings. He told us much of the history as we drove and he pointed out special spots. One was the King's palace, I can't remember which king built it though, and one temple was supposed to be where he was buried. 

He told us what this gorgeously ornate temple was to the left--but I can't remember. There is far too much for my brain to absorb in one day. 

At one point, a monkey crossed our path on his daily commute, he didn't even seem to notice we were there. Another monkey, much more serious looking, sat on a shaded corner of the outer wall, like an ancient temple guard keeping an eye on the intruders. No more than ten feet from us a whole family of monkeys in a tree broke out into a turf war, screaming and chasing one another up and down the trunk. Despite all the human visitors, this was still their jungle.

Ta Prohm-"Tomb Raider" temple

Even the trees don't respect the man-made boundaries. At the Temple of Ta Prohm, where Tomb Raider was filmed with Angelina Jolie, the trees are taking back the jungle, trying to erase our footprints. Their giant roots are consuming the temples, leaving areas of rubble in their wake. I'm not sure what was more impressive at Ta Prohm, the intricately carved temples or the trees here.

It looked like science fiction, like somewhere on another planet.  

If you ever have a chance go visit Angkor Wat and immerse yourself in this stunning other world. 

This video below shows the massive heads carved on one of the bridges leading to a temple gate.

For more info on Angkor Wat check these out:

Lonely Planet

Britannica.com

World Pilgrimage Guide

UNESCO

Have you been to Angkor Wat? Do you like to travel? What's one of your favorite places to visit?

Have a great week!

Kathy :)

My Little Babies in their Pots

3 healthy avocados and one a squirrel got 

I love my garden. When my hands are in the dirt taking care of my plants, whether it's planting, weeding, or harvesting herbs and flowers, I'm at peace and in the moment. It is my little time of "active meditation." 

My newest little babies are 5 brand new avocado seedlings. A couple months ago, my husband and I were really craving fresh guacamole, so I made a big batch and I had all these beautiful avocado pits left over. I decided to see how many I could germinate. Over the years of being a plant geek, I've come up with my own method for avocados.

Starting a new avocado pit

 I rinse the pits and then lightly wrap them in wet paper towel. I place them in an unsealed ziplock bag and hide them in a darker corner of my kitchen. I check on them occasionally, and after a few weeks, the pits have cracked open and the root begins to appear, it's pretty magical.

Out of the six pits that I wrapped, 5 of them produced roots. I planted all of five. Four of those sent out stems quickly, the fifth one looked like it was trying to but it wasn't making much progress. We've had super hot moist conditions all summer here in Ohio, so it's been good weather for them to grow in.

 Last week, I was disappointed to see that some animal, probably a squirrel, had climbed onto my deck and dug one of the pits up and eaten it in half, breaking the tree stem from its roots! But the rest were unharmed. In an effort to try to save the little guy, I've cut the end clean and dipped it in a rooting medium to see if he can survive, I don't have a lot of hope for him but maybe he can pull through. 

The little, slow seed finally did send out a shoot to the sky and he's doing fine at almost 6 inches tall! 

Slow little guy

Hopefully, they can all grow strong enough before October, to be brought inside and survive the cold gray winters in Ohio. 

My fresh guacamole :)

I'll share the recipe in another post!

Hope your week has been great!

Have you started avocados successfully? Do you have an "active meditation" activity? What good news do you have this week?

Kathy 😃🩷🩷

IWSG, Cliffhangers, and More!

 

How is it already December?!!

It's time for another IWSG post, where we ask all our questions, release our writing fears, and support this awesome community!

Our lovely hosts for this month are:  Ronel, Deniz, Pat Garcia, Olga Godim, and Cathrina Constantine!

The optional question for this month is: Do you write cliffhangers? Do they turn you off as a reader/writer?

I personally don't write cliffhangers, but maybe that is mostly because I've never written a series. I'm not particularly turned off by them if they are done well. Especially for a trilogy or series you have to make the reader want to find out what is next, but I don't think that requires a dramatic cliffhanger. If you've written the characters with enough depth and the story is compelling, readers should automatically be drawn to the next book or chapter.

I hope everyone who celebrates had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday or at least enjoyed some well deserved days off! 

We had a great time with a bunch of our family who came in to visit. Lots of food and laughter. My favorite dish is always the apple pie! What's your favorite?

We also went to see the new Wicked movie. As huge Broadway fans, we were blown away by it! We were moved to tears almost as soon as Cynthia Erivo (Elphaba) began singing. She was absolutely divine! I'd love to hear your thoughts if you got to see it. 

Happy Holidays to all!!

Kathy :)